Avalon journey- Spirtual recharge.

 
So lately I have been more Rockabilly than Pagan. Since having a baby trying to find spiritual time is difficult. I'm embarrassed to say my altar has not changed since Yule and the Sabbats have passed me by without any acknowledgement. I had become a lazy pagan.

When two of my fellow Celtic Mooners asked me if I wanted to join them in a Summer pilgrimage to Avalon I was over the moon! Time away from being 'Mummy' and to embrace my spiritual side that has been neglected for too long.

The lead up to the journey was a busy one. I had spent the week before at Broadstairs folk week camping which was a lot of fun but I was exhausted. Followed by a manic few days at work and then making sure Layla was going to be okay as this was to be the first time I would be away from her over night. I was anxious, as any mother would be in these circumstances. My partner was also worried as Layla is still breastfeeding and I have been the one putting her to sleep and going to her in the night since she was born. However I knew that time away from Layla was desperately needed.
On Wednesday I left Layla with my parents and made my way to Zee's home, the transition from Mummy to Magickal well underway. I slept on the sofa so we could be on the road to Glastonbury early to maximise our time there.

We arrived in Avalon (I will be calling Glastonbury by this name for the rest of this post.) at about 10:30am and we made a bee-line for the Tor. It was a beautiful sunny day but very hot! We had to take several pit stops on the way to the top which allowed me to get a little bit of drumming in.
Once to the top I was surprised at how busy it was!

The warm Summers day had brought everyone out it seemed.
The view from the tor is stunning and a bit of mist still clung in the distance making Avalon appear to be the mysterious isle bathed in sunlight.
I took up my drum again and played for a bit. It was a rhythmical heartbeat which allowed Zee to go on a journey deep into the Tor itself. I hoped the tourists didn't mind my drumming!
After a while I decided to see what my drum would sound like in the tower. I had a bit of an audience but I didn't let it put me off and I beat my drum for them and for me.  
We were up on the Tor for two hours and by now our tummies were beginning to rumble, so we took our leave from the Tor and trekked back into town to find nourishment.

We headed to the Travelodge to check into our room and relax and unwind after our long journey... Or at least that was the plan. We were on the first floor and the guest staying in the room above us decided that they didn't want to stay still and was matching up and down in their room with such ferocity that it caused our room to shake.
To begin with we found it funny, trying to figure out what on earth it was that the person (we figured to be a male) was doing.
We went back out to get supplies and dinner and we wanted to have an early night and settled down to sleep.
That's when the  guest upstairs began pacing yet again.
We decided to go downstairs and complain to Reception who told us to wait half an hour and if they were still making noise she would go and knock on their door. So up we went back to our room and waited while the sound of thudding footsteps was still going. It was so loud that I recorded it on my phone. It was now coming up for 12am and we were all very tired and anxious.
Still the marching persisted and after 15 minuets we went back down to reception. We were informed that she had gone to the room but there had been no answer. We asked if we could be moved and thankfully there was a room going spare on the 2nd floor but it would mean moving the extra bed up a flight of stairs. Anything was going to be better than listening to the pacing.
We went back to our room and gathered all the belongings together and took it up to our new room. With the help of the receptionist we moved the bed up the stairs to our new quieter room. By the time we were settled it had gone 1am. So much for an early night.
Suffice to say we all managed to have a peaceful nights sleep and although we were first asked to move back down to the other room we were told we could stay where we were, much to all our relief.

Friday morning started off with Morrison's breakfast followed by shopping in the myriad or wonderful shops in the high street.

 

 Shopping therapy complete and bellies full we made our journey towards the Goddess temple for some well needed mediation time and to try and shake off the negativity we had picked up from the unseen guest back at the Travelodge.
The temple was busy! It took us all a while to connect and be at peace when all we could hear was the rustle of people looking through the greeting cards on display and the occasional remark from Muggles who were just curious to see what was behind the door.
Standing in front of the main altar, decorated still in the colours of Lammas I took stock of everything that had transpired to us so far on the pilgrimage and let go of the anxiety, tiredness and let myself relax.
Before coming into the temple I had bought a piece of black tourmaline to help me with some negativity I had been dealing with in my home life and I poured all this into the little stone in my hand.

Recently I have felt very lost when it comes to my spirituality. Before having Layla I was very proud of my pagan lifestyle but in the year and a half of becoming a mother I had to give up going to my drum circle and I had lots connection with my power animal, White Stag.
I was a shadow of my former self. I needed to take control of myself and be in my own power once more.
While I was in meditation I asked if White Stag had truly left me and it was confirmed that he was no longer my guide. However I was surprised to learn that a new totem animal had come forward. That of a Mother Brown bear.
White Stag had seen me through my journey onto the path of Druidry and Shamanism, his work with me was done and now I was walking my path of motherhood.
With her help I hope to stand by my choice that I make as a mother  and not feel like I am useless at parenting.

After some quiet meditation Zee asked the temple Melissa if he could Smudge us which he was happy to do. I stood in the middle with zee and Anna to the side and we held each other to make a circle while we were being Smudged. Afterward the Melissa blessed us and called us the sisters of the Goddess and I could feel my eyes start to well up for this is what I had been missing.
Sisterhood.

After the beautiful energy of being in the temple the sun came out so a quick nip back to our room to gather supplies and get changed before embarking on our trip to the White well and Chalice well.
We only had a few minuets in the White well and during our time there we got to hear a rather beautiful dreadlocked man chanting. His voice drew me to him and I sat down by Bridget's altar and listen with my eyes closed. When I looked again the man had got undressed ready to plunge into the frigid waters. Rather him than me!
We then moved back into the sunshine to have some quiet time in the chalice well gardens.
It is such a beautiful place and we managed to get some meditation time around the chalice well head and cool (freeze) our feet in the healing waters.
While we were in the garden we could hear the man chanting again. This photo is me, hugging the yew and hearing his chanting...

This beautiful photo of Zee shows Anna and I looking at him over the fence like two naughty school girls.

 We returned back to the Travelodge for dinner and some henna. I designed both Zee's and Anna's and Anna did mine. All incorporating Glastonbury tor into the design.
 

Zee's Mermaid Henna

 

Anna's Hare henna

 

My Antler henna

 I had such an amazing time and I wish to thank Zee and Anna be apart of their spiritual pilgrimage.
I can't wait for the next one!

Thanks to Zee and Anna for the photos

Cerh Deer Priestess and Keeper of the Drum - Day Workshop

Last year you may recall I went on the Elen of the Ways retreat. (you can read about it here)

During my time at the retreat, I sat next to a altar dedicated to a rather sinister looking image of a deer skull masked pregnant woman holding a shamanic drum. This was not Elen, the Goddess I had come to call my patron, but a much older figure and something about her resonated with me.

I asked Suzi, who had painted the picture, who she was and she told me that her name is Cerh. A deer priestess who demanded to be painted. At that point in time that is all I knew about Cerh but I wanted to know more!

Altar to Cerh at the 2013 Elen retreat.

Via Facebook I learnt about a day workshop focusing on Cerh, run by Samantha and Suzi and I booked my space eagerly.

I travelled to Esther's early last Sunday (27th July) and from there we would get a lift with Siân 

to the workshop venue.

We arrived on time to Suzi's house and was warmly welcomed by many familiar and new faces. All drawn to to learn about Cerh.

The Temple of Elen was set up in the back garden and a thrill ran through me as I recalled my dedication to Elen in the same space last year.

The altar was set up with two paintings of Cerh and I felt it was quite profound for me as I am pregnant, which is how Suzi depicts her.

Cerh painted by Suzi Edwards Goosec https://www.facebook.com/ArtworkOfSuziGoose

I won't go into too much detail here about the workshop. Sam and Suzi shared with us their thoughts about Cerh and slowly the deer skull mask was lifted to see that she is not a scary as she first appears. Yes, she is primal, reminding us of humanities true roots. Of blood, bone, feather and fur.

She is not a deity like Elen. She is Us. Our ancestor, our past. When the land is all we knew and we lived closely with the Earth, not against it.

During the workshop, we drummed and sang to Cerh. We were taken on a me dative path working to connect with her and we were blessed with a gift. mine was a fossil stone, like an ammonite. The spiral of life.

We broke for lunch and then journeyed on to Epping Forest to continue our own exploration of Cerh.

We stood in a large circle and we each painted ochre on our foreheads using our fingers before going off into the forest.

I went and sat by a tree which was surrounded by ferns. I felt like I was quite hidden from view, like a fawn hiding waiting for it's mother to return.

I sat and sung softly to myself, feeling my baby move inside my womb. I was content. This was much better then work.

After a while we were summoned back to circle by drum beat and as we gathered we all joined in on the drumming and chanting. We were even joined by some yapping dogs!

As we walked back to the car, Esther showed me the stone she had found during her quiet time and I was shocked to see it contained a fossil. Coincidence indeed!

The fossil Esther found in Epping forest. Photo used with permission.

I really enjoyed the workshop day. The other ladies (and gentleman) were all lovely and they all wished me well in my pregnancy. It was suggested that a pray tree was set up so that when I do go into labour, the participants of the workshop could send me love and healing.

photo of the Cerh workshop attendees by Lisa Hill

Cerh is still lingering in corner of my thoughts, next year a whole weekend retreat is planned to discover more but I have a feeling I will be too busy to attended.

To find out more then please join the Elen of the Ways page on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/278863855190/

3 Wishes and Cornwall camping

Finally I have found time to write up about my time in Cornwall and 3 wishes faerie festival.

Yes it is that time of year again where we pack up Penny the smart car with all our camping equipment and festival gear and set off west to my spiritual home of Cornwall.

As in previous years we headed to stay with family in Plymouth, who took us for a lovely walk around Stover nature reserve on the Thursday.

http://www.devon.gov.uk/stover_country_park.htm

On Friday morning we had a hearty breakfast before setting off towards the ferry port and then on to Mount Edgecombe for the 3 Wishes Faerie festival!

Unlike last year, where we just went for the one day, I brought tickets for the whole 3 days plus camping as I felt I really missed out last year.

Soon our little camping village was set up and we went around to meet up with friends, some who I had not seen since last years 3 wishes!

The weather was glorious and everyone was in great spirits. In the evening the fire pit was lit and I was gifted the privilege to play two wonderful shaman drums of horse and buffalo by two lovely ladies. I wish there was enough room in the car so I could bring by own drum.

Fireside drumming. Bliss!
(Thanks Bekki for the photo)

Unfortunately Saturday's weather was a bit bleak but that did not stop us from having fun and dong a bit of shopping at the vendor's.

This year there was the wonderful Eartheart bar which served yummy food and also played host to some amazing DJs and musicians. One such was Sika, whose mix of didgeridoo, chanting and electro music had us all in the mood to dance.

http://www.sikamusic.com/

The evening was the pirate and mermaid party!

Me and Esther ready to party

 But the rain put a slight dampener on the nights proceedings and some of the acts had to be cancelled as the stage was at an angle so all the rain (which was quite torrential at some points) was going on to the stage.The Dolmen, the main headline act, was not to be put off and after an hour delay they were able to play with the help of a huge net to stop most of the rain. We danced and the rain held off a little and we were awarded a wonderful glimpse of the super moon.

Sunday for me, was the best day. The rain held off and along with a few other of my friends we went for a Sunday Carvery at a local pub. The looks we got from the other patrons was priceless.

I attended a talk by Terry English, a gentleman and creator of wonderful armour as   seen in films Excalibur, Clash of the Titian and Harry Potter.

What a handful!

 I also went on a tree walk and faerie spotting hosted by Laura Daligan, which was very enlightening and enjoyable.The evenings entertainment was 3 Daft Monkeys who put on a great show. We concluded the night by sitting around the fire pit to drum and sing.
Monday morning came and we packed the tent away and said our goodbyes before journeying off to Bodmin Moor and to South Penquite farm for the rest of our holiday.

http://www.southpenquite.co.uk/

Smart packing!

After setting up the tent again with (no) help from the Farm cat, we went for a walk around the area around the camp site. 

Our new tent came with a free kitty!

Soon we came upon the standing stone we went to last year and so we retraced our steps from the stones, past the beech trees, the rushing river and the quarry. A short stroll which ended up being about two hours long!

River on our evening stroll

Tuesday saw us going back to Mevagissey to the lovely Lavender Pillow and the pirate shop to purchase some wares and had some pasties down by the harbour. Afterwards we then went on to Truro to see the funky vintage shop we went to last year but unfortunately it didn't have anything that fitted me :-( 

Wednesday was a brighter day and so we decided to go to Tintagel and do our annual coastal walk to Boscastle which we always enjoy and treated ourselves to a cream tea and got the bus back to Tintagel. I brought myself a lovely turquoise ring.

Thursday we packed up the tent and went to see friends near Penzance and stayed the night with them. We also went to see the mermaid chair in Zennor which was something I wanted to do last year but ran out of time.

Friday came and before going home we went to have breakfast down by a lake and then on to Porthleven, a quaint harbor town with a fantastic shop with local creative artisans. I purchased a beautiful fleece skirt and gloves from feeline clothing. Check out their website: http://www.feelineclothing.co.uk/

Soon we were on the road home, which turned out to be a bit of an adventure in itself,  it is amazing what people do instead of just driving in their cars!

Immerse in Elen Retreat

Last weekend I went to the 'Immerse in Elen retreat' run by Samantha Marks. I have wanted to go on the retreat ever since I learnt who the elusive Goddess was and finally this year I managed to go.

You can find out more about the Goddess in this blog post:http://therockabillypagan.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/elen-of-ways.html

On the Saturday morning I made my way to Essex to the outdoor activity centre where this years retreat was being held.

The morning saw a wonderful gathering of like minded women of all ages, seated in a circle and listened to  the stories of our connections with Lady Elen. Some rang very true with my own path. We also partook in a powerful path working, thinking about it now gives me goosebumps in a good way.

At lunch time we all gathered in the dinning room for a shared lunch, (so much food!) And I got to talk to some of the other women and showed some of my Wylde Embers boxes I had brought along with me and had some wonderful feedback.

After lunch we got into groups and created incense and invocation oils in honour of Elen and Mala bracelets. We then went into the new 'Temple of Elen' sacred space to learn a chant with the Mala's.

Dinner was at 5:30 which was really tasty and then we all went for a walk in the wooded area of the park. The light was wonderful and we were all given a little clay token which was baked with seeds to leave as offerings.

2013 Elen clan.

After the walk we gathered some kindling for the fire and spent some time in the presence of a wonderful hollowed tree.

The sun set on a fantastic day and the evening saw the clan come together for (more) food, drink , drumming and singing by the light of the fire. 

The moon shone down on us as we made our way back to the cabins we were to call home for the weekend and to dream of running deer and antlers.

The next morning we gathered for a cooked breakfast before taking our drums down to the temple sacred space for another meditation. This one called  on the more primal aspects of the antlered Goddess and since learning more about shamanism this really appealed to me and is something I want to look into more.

We were given a few moments to ourselves and I had decided to take my drum down to the hollow tree and do some solo drumming. It was amazing and I decided to make a short film of it.

The hollow tree

Inside the tree.

After this we gathered back into the conference room to make deer leather journey pouches which I really enjoyed making .

In the conference room there was Elen artwork and altars set up. 

Also a table with wonderful Elen inspired goodies to buy. I placed some of my Wylde Embers boxes and I was very pleased that many have found new homes!

We had lunch before returning back to the Temple and we were invited if we so wanted, to dedicate to the path of Elen or as priestesses of the antlered road. I had been waiting a long time for this opportunity. Although I have recognised Elen as my Patron I had yet to dedicate myself as a priestess and this seemed the perfect opportunity, surrounded by my other clan sisters and in the presence of a beautiful altar. 

I went first. I sat in front of the altar, next to Pristess Sam and donned a beautiful antlered headress. I closed my eyes and sang a opening chant. I wasn't going to do this, it was not planned but it just seemed right. 

Several of the clan made their dedications that afternoon, some with voice, others with their heart and it was all so beautiful and very special.

The clan then moved outside for a ceremony which saw us all leave our red Ochre footprints on cloth. A wonderful lasting tangible memory of our time together on the trackway.

This retreat was everything I wanted and more. The connections I made with the other ladies of the retreat were all very special and I had some very profound conversations, especially with my cabin sisters at 1am! 

My heartfelt thanks goes to Sam for running the retreat and the tine sisters, Suzi and Julia who helped with making everything run smoothly.

In September there is a reunion where previous retreat attendees gather. I am very tempted! 

Thank to Sam for the photos. I didn't take many. You can read her blog entry about the retreat here:

http://antleredroad.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/immerse-in-elen-retreat-2013.html

Celtic moon pagan project: Shamanism

In my last blog post I mentioned that Celtic Moon circle members have been asked to undertake a personal project and I have chosen Shamanism.


Why Shamanism?

I don't want to be a shaman, someone who heals others by retriving their lost souls from the otherworld (one definition) but I want to know about shamanic practices which have always fascinated me yet at the same time scared me too. I have never used drugs to induce spiritual visions or wish to but I can not help be curious about it.

So what am I hoping to achieve during this project?
Discovering what being a shaman means, in history and in modern day society.
Shamans in different cultures- Africa, Sami, Native America and other First Nation countries.
Celtic Shamanism- Druidry?
Riding the Shaman's horse - power of drumming.
Power animals
Shamanism in art

What shamanism means to me.
As a teenager I had an interest in Native American culture. At school I learnt about different tribes and their beliefs. This was a catalyst for me to look at Native American art and I fell in love with the animal carvings of the Coast Salish tribes.
Anyone who knew me at school knew I loved whales and dolphins and so the stylised killer whales of Salish art captured my imagination.

A project at secondary school where I made a totem pole.

After this time I began looking at paganism and witchcraft but the draw of the spiritual path of the Native Americans did not leave me.

Little coincidences started happening. When I met my boyfriend he was dressed as a 'Native American Indian'. I had a psychic reading in which I was told I had a spirit guide of a maiden Native American (doesn't everyone?) I liked listening to music inspired by the chants and drums of the tribes. However it was not until I birthed my own shamanic drum when I decided that I would look deeper into shamanism.
I started to attended open drum circles and on hearing the beats of the drums could go on journeys far better than any meditation I have tried (which frankly I am rubbish at as my mind is way too busy.)

When my priestess Breaca set us the pagan project to do from now until November I immediately knew what I wanted to study. Having studied the Bardic grade of Druidry and feeling that the next step of the course, the Ovate grade sound much more like what I wanted to learn to begin with; tree lore, sharp shifting, earth mysteries, etc, I concluded that Druidry is a Celtic Shamanism and my next step should be to look at Shamanism on a much wider scale.

My patron Goddess Elen to me is much more shamanistic in nature than most Goddess I have come across. The reindeer herders of the Sami people also have shamans and although Elen is not mentioned in their culture there are many aspects of their beliefs that ring true with how I feel about Elen.

There is something about shamanism, how it has been portrayed in film, books and games which does make me reluctant on how far I should go with my studying. Most of the practices I am interested in are very difficult to do as someone who house shares with other and already find my collection of antlers 'a bit weird'. How are they going to react when I tell them I am going to fast for three days, lick a mushroom and go on a vision quest?

This journey can't be all consuming as much as I would love it too be as I have commitments in the mundane that must be kept in order for me to survive and to keep a healthy relationship with friends, family and my partner.
So my studying will involve reading, taking part in drumming circles, performing ritual and other forms of exploration which won't see me jumping on a plane to find a mentor halfway across the world and call myself Orca Moon.... Mores the pity.

My beloved drum.

Moots, friendship, drumming and pyrography!

The weekend just gone was very busy for me.

One of our Celtic Moon sisters, Fawn, was back in the UK after being away since the Pagan Pilgrimage last year!

After work on Saturday I went to pick up Fawn from the train station and then we were off to Dartford to see the rest of the Celtic Moon clan for a social get together.

Also when I arrived at Breaca's home she told me she had a surprise for me which turned out to be a beautiful sculpture of my patron Goddess Elen playing a drum. I absolutely adore it!

Photo by Breaca.

Afterward the meet up I drove back home and Fawn stayed the night with me as she needed to go back to Canterbury and I was headed there the next day because of work. Plus she got to meet Keijo!

With the lovely Fawn

The Celtic moon circle all together 

The next day I dropped Fawn off in Canterbury although I couldn't say goodbye very well so I will say it here.

It was lovely to see you again Fawn. Good luck for the next stage of your journey and see you again later in the year. Xx

On Sunday night it was a trip over the Dartford bridge for the Celtic Moon Grove moot at Esther and Martin's abode. A lovely relaxing evening followed with chat, yummy soup and discussion about the future. Rather than drive home that night I decided to stay and enjoy E and M's company a little bit longer.

On Monday we went into town to trawl the charity shops and picked up some amazing bargains, including this little guy, who I just fell in love with and couldn't leave behind!

He is hand carved out of Meadswood from New Zealand and at a pound he was a steal! 

Then Esther took me to the QD store and to the aisle which contained lots and lots of plain wooden boxes, perfect for pyrography. I almost brought their whole stock!

That afternoon I showed Violetstar the joys of pyrography and being a talented artist she took to it straight away.

That evening I went along to the Southend Dolmen grove moot and Imbolc ritual.

This was a lovely gathering of souls which also included a talk on natural dentistry and a raffle. I didn't win anything from the raffle but I did put in one of my pyrography key rings as a prize which someone won and said they really liked it. 

At the end of the night we gathered in a circle to do some drumming which I really enjoyed and once the beat picked up and I felt it I began chanting. I wasn't expecting to do so but because I have been attending the Shamanic drumming circles over on the Isle of Sheppey where shamanic drumming includes chanting I just couldn't help it. 

When the drums quietened and came to a stop I was surprised that people actually thanked me for doing the chanting!

As it was quite late one I was invited stay over another night with the lovely Esther and Martin.

The next day saw us going back to QD's to get more wooden boxes and doing more pyrography.

A lesson in pyrography. Photo by Esther.

Day like these don't come around often but I love it when they do!